Recently a friend of mine was talking to me about how he was really stressed because people, like his boss, kept asking more and more of him and he felt like he had no time to relax. He gave me the example of how he had told his job he was going to cut back on his hours as he was about to start college back up again. His boss then would call him on the days he used to work and ask him to come in because they were short. He found himself unable to say no.

This is an issue I have faced with employers, and even with friends. Now, my friends are not trying to be malicious, but often times I feel as though I should help them, or go hangout with them even when I really should be going to bed in preparation for the work week. Sometimes I just have my own work to do and I woukd feel like I should help my friend instead of getting my own work done.

This feeling of duty to help others is a good thing. It’s good if most people feel like they should help when someone asks for it. The problem arises when that feeling is so strong it overpowers our own needs. You should not help others when it brings on tons of stress. You should not be expected to drop everything in your life to help someone else.

Saying no is an exercise in your own will. It is like a muscle you need to work. You should not say no all the time, but if you have specifically asked for time off from work for a good reason, you should not feel bad saying no to coming in to work. I know plenty of people that have let work consume their lives. They are afraid to say no to anything, even if it means they end up despising their work and co-workers.

I know someone who was so taken over by their job that they ruined their relationship. They dropped everything anytime their boss called them into work. This put work before their personal life and personal relationships. I hope that most of you reading this are not the same way. If you find yourself putting off work at home, like cleaning your house/apartment, to go out with friends because you feel like you should, you are hurting yourself in a small way.

The only way to get better at this is to take time to prioritize yourself. Figure out what things need to get done, or are just more important than going out, and don’t let anyone pull you away from them. If you are feeling overwhelmed by all the hustle in your life, take a day or two to just stay home and relax. If you have to turn your phone off for a day, the world is not going to explode if you cant be reached for a day. If you are worried about something bad happening, turn your phone on do not disturb and only allow calls from your family.

Work puts a value on your time, you need to put a value on your time as well and recognize when it is worth your time to do something for yourself and not others.